Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. The Insider proudly brings to you Keeping Kayfabe Alive with Hayden Glasgow. This column will be dedicated to the world of professional wrestling.
Hayden, an aficionado of the sport, will be sharing his opinions on events, wrestlers, matches and everything else important to life inside the ring.
On Monday, Sept. 7, we got an episode of Monday Night Raw which started with The Vision bragging about beating up Oba Femi.
I have to admit, I was so close to caring about this group, until I was reminded that Austin Theory exists. Him and Maxxine started doing their “thing” which got interrupted by Akira Tozawa, setting up a match between Theory and Tozawa’s partner, Otis.
After the match, an injured Oba Femi would come out but get overwhelmed again by The Vision, with everyone talking about how he pushed Bronson Reed’s foot off of him despite being beaten. I can understand not wanting to look weak, but if you apparently have enough fight left for that, you probably shouldn’t have stayed down in the first place.
The following match was, in my opinion, a very good match between Ethan Page, Rey Mysterio, and Bron Breakker. This was also a qualifying match for the Money In The Bank ladder match. Bron hit a double Frankensteiner before hitting Rey with a spear and pinning him to qualify.
Despite this, I’m not sure it should’ve been him. I understand that he’s still a key player in the future of the WWE, even if he did lose the match on Sunday Night’s Main Event, but the MITB is often more fitting for weaker, more weaselly wrestlers. Ethan Page has made his career off of that, honestly I don’t think there’s another wrestler in the world more fitting to the MITB.
We later saw Sol Ruca win her Money In the Bank qualifier match against Lyra Valkyria and Maxxine Dupri. Although I did want Lyra to be in that ladder match, I’m not unhappy that Ruca won this qualifier.
That being said, we need justice for Lyra. Bayley returned and pulled the clueless referee out of the ring when Lyra was about to win, just for Ruca to hit Lyra with her Sol Snatcher and then all of the sudden the referee remembers she has a job with this company and runs back inside the ring to count the pin.
Now comes everyone’s “favorite” segment of the episode. Joe Hendry treats, or tortures, us with a new song and story about JD McDonagh. More specifically, about his supposedly gigantic head and claiming his father is a giant Funko Pop.
This is all lies and slander from Hendry. People cannot, to my knowledge, have children with Funko Pops. This is body shaming, bullying, and a verbal assault on our eardrums from Hendry. The worst part about it is Je’Von Evans coming out with a Funko Pop head to beat up the Judgement Day and help Hendry win the match. I don’t like bullies, and I don’t like how this went down.
Liv Morgan retained her title against Stephanie Vaquer with the help of the Judgement Day, despite Becky Lynch’s best efforts to help Vaquer. I find Liv too annoying to care more about this match.
To end the show, The Usos came out to challenge 946, but 946 had other plans and destroyed the Usos’ car in the parking lot, setting it on fire. I hope they can keep this destructive energy in a match, which they have yet to have as a group.
Have an opinion to share with Hayden? and if there is anything you want to talk about in the world of professional wrestling, send an email to HAG221@pitt.edu. You may even be invited for an interview to share your thoughts to be shared in Keeping Kayfabe Alive.
